Sharing recipes, crafts and frugal living, the challenges and triumphs of parenting a neurotypical child and a child on the Autism Spectrum. Yoga Instructor said goodbye to her nightly glass of Chardonnay to give up habits that were not serving her purpose in life! The CocktailMom name remains, however with a new focus on healthy and authentic living.

12/08/2011

A GAY Family!

I think I forgot to tell you...I GOT MARRIED!!!!
I know here on the blog I share very intimate moments of parenting. I talk at great length about the struggles and joy of raising a child on the Autism Spectrum. But I haven't been talking a lot about the recent transformation that I've made. Here is the quick version: I use to be married to a man...we had 2 children together... we got a divorce...I met a fantastic woman, fell deeply in love and we recently married in Washington DC.

I've been skirting around talking openly about my divorce because I want to be respectful of my ex-husband and his very public life (he's an author). I'm also the type of person that lives by the mantra: "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
I will say this...we are amazing parents together. I think friends and family can agree on that...we do a hell of a job communicating the boys needs and always putting them first.
Anyway.... when I had to announce to family and friends that I was getting a divorce, it's awkward and I wanted to be the one to tell my friends. I didn't want it spreading like gossip and turning into something poisonous. I sent messages through Facebook to almost everyone I knew, this is what I told them:
Some of you may have heard the news travel through the gossip chain of friends and family. This is a hard email to write to all of you. And there is no easy way to say it, other than just to say it. Jon and I are getting a divorce. It's not an easy choice or a light-hearted decision to leave a relationship when you thought it was supposed to last "forever". Jon and I came to a point where in our hearts we weren't happy in our marriage any longer and realized that we needed to except that and continue to seek joyful expression of ourselves. I have spent the last year in a state of awakening. I've rediscovered what happiness means. I've laughed more this past year, felt joyous and here I sit taking a deep breath in and knowing in my whole heart I am following my true bliss. It's not easy. There are hard decisions to be made along the way. We all have to do what makes us happy, to not become stagnant, to awaken our core beings. I've gotten REALLY clear over the year that I am not responsible for others happiness or to make sure anyone else is living a joyful life, only that I continue to be an example of staying connected to the universe and live my life in joy.I hope you are all well and wish you a year of awakening in your spirits to follow your own true bliss.

I found the courage from within myself to "come out of the closet" to my family and friends. (I told my parents at Ikea of all places, which I think should be the title of my book.) 
I have been awakened. I feel like I'm finally living my authentic life. I have thankfully been surrounded by love and acceptance. I fell in love with a woman. And she is the most amazing person who has entered my life. I smile more. I laugh more. My children love her. And she in turn, adores the boys. 
And we are now a family. 
Logan was asked recently by a classmate, "do you have two moms?"
His reply, "yeah, I have two moms AND a dad! I know, I'm awesome."

These kids are okay. They are better than okay. We all are.



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is great Gretchen. Starting a new life with someone that you love and loves you back. It shows on the picture with all the smiles. Keep up the good work on your blog, it means a lot to your readers.

morninglight mama said...

Gay, as in, totally happy and joyful, right??

:)

You look radiantly happy in your photos, and for that, I'm thrilled for you all!

Lori said...

The love radiates and inspires, Gretchen. I'm so happy for you, and feel honored that you share like you do with us...there really aren't enough words. You're a blessing to this planet, and i am blessed to have ever met you. ((HUG))

CocktailMom said...

@ Lori- I am so glad that our spirits crossed when they did. Wishing you a year of total bliss!!!

CocktailMom said...

@Morninglight mama - yes, "gay" as in over the moon happy :) What other gay is there?

CocktailMom said...

Thank you all for reading and commenting! For that I feel truly blessed.

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