Sharing recipes, crafts and frugal living, the challenges and triumphs of parenting a neurotypical child and a child on the Autism Spectrum. Yoga Instructor said goodbye to her nightly glass of Chardonnay to give up habits that were not serving her purpose in life! The CocktailMom name remains, however with a new focus on healthy and authentic living.

6/10/2010

I'm not perfect

Agasp, to that title right?
I never want to come across as having it all figured out. Because guess what, I don't. My sink has dirty dishes in it too and my kids whine more than I would like to acknowledge. But this little corner of my world I try and remain positive.
Right now I am going through a major life change. I haven't blogged about it because some things have to remain personal, especially when other people are involved. But because I'm not blogging about it or updating my facebook status with way too personal information it seems as though all is perfect in my world.
And guess what..it's not. Don't get me wrong...life is pretty freakin' good most of the time.
But I have days when...
it all feels so overwhelming,
the voice I use to answer my son's question is not the voice I intended to use,
I want to scream "SHUT UP!!!!" but I don't and I am thankful for that,
I cry into the carpet in child's pose,
I go to bed at 10pm because I am exhausted.
My life isn't perfect.

"But I like to strive for perfection...
the kind of perfection that comes with LOVING the imperfect,
LOVING the path of life that I am on now,
LOVING the chance that I have to learn from mistakes, to find solutions to problems, to grow as a mother, LOVING the gifts and trials and long days that I am SO grateful to be here to experience." Quote from blogger Clover Lane

What I am going through is personal and it's something that many other mothers have gone through before. And maybe someday I'll blog about it. But right now...I'm learning, I'm growing and I'm taking the time to really enjoy this journey.
One thing I have learned through this experience is the value of a phone call or a card.
Do me a favor, if you know someone that is juggling a lot of balls right now simply calling to check in or dropping a card in the mail is the greatest gift you can give her.
She may appear to have it all together but I'll bet she's crying into the carpet.

6 comments:

MommyNaniBooboo said...

Sometimes, I come by and read your stuff... and find you courageous.
*cyber hug*

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, this is an awesome blog, sorry I haven't sent my card yet, but I have sent my good wishes and your are in my thoughts and prayers all the time. didn't have my google sign on info so I posted anon. Jacqueline, thinking of you and hope to get together soon.

morninglight mama said...

I could totally be right next to you leaving my own puddle on your carpet, Gretchen.

The reality of every aspect of our lives can never be fully represented on a blog, so you just put out there what you want and know the full story for yourself.

Much support to you!

Cynthia Llarena said...

i think we all cry into the carpet once in a while and you've reminded me that it's okay if we do.

thank you for blogging. it's absolutely inspirational


http://cynthiamllarena.blogspot.com

Cynthia Llarena said...

i think we all cry into the carpet once in a while and you've reminded me that it's okay if we do.

thank you for blogging. it's absolutely inspirational


http://cynthiamllarena.blogspot.com

craftymama said...

i know how you feel!

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