Blended Families- Making it Work for the Kids
I am divorced.
A long time ago I was married to a man and we had two lovely children together. Fast forward to today....I am married to a woman and together, all three of us, we are raising those children. We are what most people call a “blended family”. The road to where we are today has had moments of turbulence, but we have always made a point to put the children first.
It means that sometimes you have to take the high road, sometimes you have to let go, compromise or learn how to communicate differently. We’ve done family therapy and have had many long email discussions learning how to navigate this terrain together.
Right now we seem to have stumbled on something that is really working for our teenagers. We have a Family Meeting, once a month at a diner type of restaurant for a weekend breakfast. At this meeting we talk about what is going well for the kids, we listen to any concerns that they might have and we plan together how consequences will be carried out, at both houses, so that we can be consistent. We have a journal where at the end of the meeting I write down recaps of what we discussed and if there are any discussions that we have tabled for next month.
I highly doubt that any of the adults at the table actually look forward to this monthly breakfast. But we put on our kind faces, we share a meal and we talk and most importantly we show the boys that we are a team of parents, we are working together and love them endlessly.
This is what our untraditional, blended family looks like and we are making it work for the kids.