Sharing recipes, crafts and frugal living, the challenges and triumphs of parenting a neurotypical child and a child on the Autism Spectrum. Yoga Instructor said goodbye to her nightly glass of Chardonnay to give up habits that were not serving her purpose in life! The CocktailMom name remains, however with a new focus on healthy and authentic living.


11 months of Sobriety

Today…I celebrate 11 months of sobriety. Yes friends I’m still not drinking. It isn’t a phase I’m going through. It isn’t a new fad to go with my yoga lifestyle. I’ve been working really hard at being sober.

11 months ago I woke up hung-over, feeling like complete shit and I promised myself that I will never feel like this again. I never want to waste an entire day of living because of drinking too much. I had gotten together with friends the night before and we were kind of celebrating my ability to drink again. At least I was. It had been 8 weeks since my breast (tumor) surgery and I was no longer on pain medication. I drank that night like I was making up for lost time.

My mom asked me recently, “I know you aren’t drinking anymore…but did you feel like you had a drinking problem?”


It has taken all the courage inside me to admit this.
Yes, I have a problem with alcohol. It took breast cancer to wake me up, it took meeting my wonderful wife to wake me up and it took time. I've had numerous moments in my life that should have shaken me awake to sobriety...but I wasn't ready to accept that I had a problem. Until now.

Over the last 11 months I’ve used yoga and food to fill the empty space inside me. I’m coming to terms with the realization that I can’t do it alone anymore. I’ve reached out to two friends who I know of that religiously go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Thankfully they opened their hearts to me and have offered to help me navigate this new course of my life.

So in a month it will be 1 year of sobriety, I feel like I should have a party but I don’t quite know what a party looks and feels like without alcohol. I’m still stumbling through this journey of being sober.  I get uncomfortable when people offer me a drink, not realizing that I’m no longer drinking. And I smile and say “no thanks” and try not to notice that I’m the only person in the room without a beer in my hand.

I’m still figuring things out.
I’m not quite comfortable yet calling myself an alcoholic. I don’t wear labels well. I fully admit that alcohol and me shouldn’t be friends. But like the first time someone referred to me as a “special needs mom” I was horrified! I didn’t want to be in this club! Now, as you know dear readers, I am a huge advocate for special needs. I even did a PSA for goodness sakes! But there was a time in my life when I didn’t feel comfortable wearing that label either and over time I embraced my son's diagnosis and now proudly wave that Autism flag. I’m proud to be in that club.

I’ll get there.
One day.

Today…I am simply 11 months sober.
And I’m pretty freaking proud of myself.


Anonymous said...

BRAVISSIMA, You Courageous, Marvelous Young Woman! Ever a success in each of your Life pursuits, now you don a Crown of Continued Sobriety. An inspirational "flag" is who you are, Gretchen: Long may you wave!!! RASF

morninglight mama said...

I had no idea how serious this move was for you, and I applaud you taking another step to being the best you possible. Many hugs and much support to you!

CocktailMom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CocktailMom said...

Thank you both for your kind words, it means a lot!

Anonymous said...

If it's useful to you, try "No thanks, I don't drink." Repeat as needed.

It gets easier. But being sober around drinking people, especially if they get sloshy, is always a little weird. It's a drinking world out there.

Gretchen said...

"Repeat as needed"…I love that!
I honestly try to avoid being present when people get sloshy, that's when drinking becomes too tempting for me. I say my goodbyes before the shots get poured. :) Thanks for reading and commenting!


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